What are Emotions and Feelings? 4 tips to expressing your emotions and feel your feelings
Emotions vs Feelings: A Dance of the Mind and Heart
You know how we sometimes use the words 'emotions' and 'feelings' interchangeably? We all experience these inner sensations, and, it turns out they're not exactly the same thing. I know, right? Mind-blowing! So, let's dive into this together and figure out what's going on.
So, recently I posted my understanding of the difference between emotions and feelings, and of course, the overlap between the two, but wanted to expand a bit further because I found a) it’s really hard to explain in 60 seconds and b) I think its valuable to our healing journey to know!
Emotions: The Universal Language of Humanity
Emotions are like the weather patterns of our inner world - automatic, raw, and universal (meaning we all experience the same things no matter where you're from!).
An example of emotion could be - You're watching a horror movie and that creepy dude pops up out of nowhere? That jump you do? That's fear, my friend. It's your body's way of saying, "Whoa, danger!" It's not something you control, it just happens - emotions are hardwired into our biology…
Remember the "fight-or-flight" response? That's an emotion! It's unconscious, instinctive, and has been keeping us alive since the caveman days. (Thanks, emotions!)
Most importantly is the role that emotions play in our lives:
Emotions are sending information to us and to others, our inner worlds. They're the universal language of humanity, connecting us to each other and the world around us.
There are some different results that come up when you search “what are primary emotions” into Google! Some researchers say there are 6, 7, and others 8, and even then they differ at times. However, the overall sense is the same (I take mine from a beloved authority on somatic therapy - Peter Levine):
Happiness 😃
Sadness 😢
Fear 😱
Disgust 🤢
Anger 😡
Surprise 😲
These emotions are the same across cultures, and even non-human (think apes) experience them! U-n-i-v-e-r-s-a-l!
Feelings: The Personal Narrative
Feelings, on the other hand, are like the lyrics to the song of our emotions. They're deeply personal, conscious experiences that arise from our interpretation of emotions. So, after that initial jump of fear during the movie, you might feel a rush of excitement. That's a feeling. It's your mind saying, "Hey, that was scary, but we're safe here on the couch, so let's enjoy the rush!”
If emotions are the universal dance, feelings are the unique steps we take. They're shaped by our experiences, beliefs, and even physical sensations like hunger or pain.
According to Antonio Damasio, feelings arise as our brain interprets emotions, turning them into mental experiences. They're more specific and subjective, and they help us navigate our complex inner world. Feelings is our way for our ego to make meaning of an emotion.
How Are Feelings More Specific Than Emotions?
Feelings can be as varied as the flavors in an ice cream shop! You might feel angry if you're hungry (hangry, anyone?), or you might feel joyful at a friend's success. Feelings are conscious, and they add color and texture to our lives. The only thing we need to be mindful of is that there is indeed a very personal filter that is at play between the raw emotion and what is felt or expressed as feeling!
The Dance Between Emotions and Feelings
Understanding the interplay between emotions and feelings is like learning to dance with a partner.
It's subtle, but it can help us understand ourselves better. Like, remember when you felt angry because a friend bailed on plans last minute? That's an emotion. But if you dig a little deeper, you might find feelings of disappointment or rejection. These feelings come from your personal story, maybe from a time when you felt left out or unimportant.
Recognizing this difference lets you deal with these feelings separately from the emotion. You can shake off that anger (literally, get up and shake it off!) and address your feelings of disappointment in a constructive way.
Emotions lead, and feelings follow, creating a beautiful dance that shapes our lives.
What Shapes our Experience of Emotions?
This conversation could be soooo vast but understanding some of these factors can help us gain insight into the complex interplay of influences that shape our unique emotional experiences (ie Feelings)! So I will try but a “simple” reminder: Emotions and Feelings are multifaceted, and what might seem like a simple reaction is often the result of a rich tapestry of life experiences and influences.
Childhood Experiences:
Early childhood experiences play a crucial role in shaping our emotional responses. The way our caregivers respond to our emotions teaches us how to perceive and react to them. A child raised in a nurturing environment may develop a more positive emotional outlook compared to one raised in a neglectful setting.
Explicit or Implicit Messages:
The messages we receive, whether direct (explicit) or indirect (implicit), influence our emotional awareness and understanding. Constant praise may lead to increased confidence, while subtle disapproval might foster insecurity.
Cultural or Societal Conditioning:
Different cultures and societies have unique norms and values that shape how emotions are expressed and experienced. In some cultures, expressing emotions openly is encouraged, while in others, it may be seen as a sign of weakness.
Religion:
Religious beliefs and practices can influence how emotions are perceived, valued, and expressed. Certain religious traditions may promote peace and contentment, affecting how followers experience emotions like anger or frustration.
Trauma:
Whilst this subject alone is very broad, in essence on emotions, traumatic experiences can have a profound impact on emotional responses, leading to heightened sensitivity or numbness to certain emotions as experiences are remembered in the body. A person who has experienced a traumatic event or repetitive events that were explicitly traumatic or did not meet their needs, may have intense emotional reactions to triggers that remind them of the trauma.
Beliefs and Personal Values:
Our personal beliefs and values shape our interpretation of events, influencing our emotional reactions. A strong belief in fairness may lead to intense feelings of injustice when witnessing inequality.
Genetics and Biological Factors:
It’s important to provide a space for genetic predispositions and biological factors like brain chemistry that can influence emotional responses.Some individuals may be genetically predisposed to anxiety or depression, affecting their overall emotional experience.
Social Relationships and Support Systems:
The quality and nature of our social connections influence our emotional well-being. Strong social support can foster positive emotions, while isolation may lead to feelings of loneliness and sadness.
Educational and Economic Background:
Our educational and economic status can shape our opportunities and challenges, influencing our emotional landscape. Economic stability may lead to feelings of security, while financial hardship might foster stress and anxiety.
4 Tips to Navigating your Emotions:
Now, let's talk about some ways to manage these waves of emotions and feelings that we all experience.
Acknowledge Your Emotions: Don't try to suppress them. They're a natural part of life. Try to name what you're feeling. Sometimes that's all it takes to reduce their power over you.
Accept Your Emotions: It's one thing to name your emotions; it's another to allow them to exist within you. If you can accept that emotions will always play a part in your life, you can work towards being comfortable with them.
Breathe: When experiencing intense emotions, our minds race in every direction. Slow, deep belly breaths help bring us back to the present moment. Breathing also helps redirect your attention. It focuses your mind on your body, providing you with a sense of feeling resourced (safe, supported, grounded - insert a word that resonates with you in the moment). Once you are at this point, it is possible to find it more accessible to be with the direct sensation or emotion that has come up for you instead of allowing the mind to take over to make up a story as to why you feel the way you do.
Learn How and When to Express Yourself: Our emotions need release, one way or another, the intention is to allow the energy to be in motion. It’s our job to find healthy ways for that to happen (hence why I am a huge advocate for my clients to have a nervous system menu that they can rely on when they are dysregulated as its so easy for us to find the first thing that gives us what we need in the moment but they may not always service us in the best ways long term).
You might need to cry if you’re sad or scream into a pillow if you’re angry, but the point is to allow the energy to move as it needs to release itself and to also avoid directing or unconsciously projecting your emotions at others.
The Power of Self-Awareness
Becoming aware of our emotions and feelings allows us to respond to situations in healthier ways - most of us have heard od respond don’t react?
Finding a way to connect with your emotional states looks so different on different people - For me i’m imagining dancing/moving intuitively to music and its magical how whatever I am feeling and the sensations of the emotional state I am in are emoted - but maybe just my love for dance! Afterwards though, I may be tired because being with our emotions can sometimes be exhausting, I am also at peace.
The more we practice being with ourselves, our raw emotional states, the more we learn how to move with what we need. The more we move with what we need in each moment, the more sure we connect with who we are on the inside - the more sure we connect with ourselves the more freely we flow with expressing our feelings!
Wrapping it up - Keep Dancing!
Soooo, while emotions and feelings are interconnected, they do play different roles in our lives. Emotions are our body's natural response to the world around us, while feelings are our mind's interpretation of these responses, shaped by our personal experiences and beliefs etc.
Understanding the difference between the two can enhance our self-awareness, improve our relationships, and lead to a more fulfilling life. So, the next time you find yourself in the throes of a strong emotion, take a moment to be with that raw emotion and when ready, explore the feelings beneath. You might just discover something new about yourself.
Remember, it's okay to feel, and it's okay to express those feelings. After all, it's these emotions and feelings are what make us human. So embrace them, understand them, and let them guide you on your journey we call life!
With Love, Nicole xo
If you're ready to deepen your self-awareness and embark on a personalized therapeutic journey, I invite you to connect with me at Expressive Freedom and schedule your Free Discovery Call.
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